Things To Say To A Friend Who is in A LDR

As a friend, it is hard to see someone dear to you be in a relationship that you’re unsure of. Your friend has been there for you through everything and you want to do the same, but you can’t because you don’t believe in their (long-distance) relationship. You do what you know best, you try to give them "advice" or reasons why long-distance relationships don’t work out. To you, you are doing them a favour, but to us, it’s a sign of betrayal and selfishness. The truth is, life is a lot more simple if we want happy for ourselves and our loved ones. We don't hold grudges. Build up mean or hurtful things to say to each other. We shouldn’t let things that are not familiar to us get in the way of our friendship. I know, it’s easier said than done, but it doesn’t hurt to try to be there for your friend. I’ve come up with 5 phrases you can say to your friend who is in a long-distance relationship.

Long Distance Relationship: Conversations To Not Have Over Text

I love texting. I love how easy it's to communicate with Don over text. If it wasn't for texting, Don and I wouldn't have gotten together. Texting cuts the anxiety, nervousness and social awkwardness of trying to talk to someone for the first time. We're able to express a lot more when we text someone because there is no pressure of the person standing in front of you expecting an answer ASAP. Even though it's easier to express your feelings on a text message, there are still some things that should be said over a phone call or in person ESPECIALLY if you're in a long-distance relationship like myself.

Below are conversations you shouldn't have over text

20 days until I get to see this boy

4 Habits You Can't Learn About Your Partner When Your Are in A Long Distance Relationship

You can learn a lot about your partner by having strong communication skills and constant communication (E.g: texting, calling and etc). After hours of talking, you will eventually learn how to read their tone, their conversation skills and such. Having good communication skills is one of the foundations of a long-distance relationship. But when you're in a long-distance relationship, there are some things you can't learn about your partner. These are the kinds of things that you need to be physically together to see and experience it.

Here are four things you only learn about your partner when you guys are physically together

30 days

It's 30 days until I get to see Don for Christmas holidays!! I can't wait. Christmas presents to be bought and wrapped. Dates and QT to be planned. 1 month. 4 weeks. 30 days! 

x

Long Distance Relationships: 6 Positive Advice From People Who Are in LDRs

I was feeling a little down yesterday and needed something to pick me up. I was having one of those days where things weren't going right, people were ticking me off and for some weird reason I felt insecure about my relationship. I wanted to talk to Don, but he was busy at work and I didn't want to bother him with my hormonal self. So, I went to my best friend - Mr Google! I wanted to read something while lying in bed and aimlessly scroll my phone. I went through my list of long distance relationship bloggers to read their love stories. It was then I realised that no one has ever said anything positive about long distance relationships. Including myself, most of the posts I've written are things I hate about LDRs or sucky parts about LDRs. I realised that most people in LDR or articles and blogs don't always give our positive advice. They just tell us how to go through LDRs, what to expect and etc. 

I am part of some awesome long distance relationship communities for support. LDR outreach and LDRBN blogs. I asked a few of them if they were given any positive advice from friends and family. Here are some that shared their positive bits of advice they received from their loved ones.

Being In A Long Distance Relationship: 5 Things I Don't Do Anymore

During one of our nightly phone calls, Don declared that if we were together in person or if we weren't dating. He would be reading right now instead of being on the phone with me. I was really taken back his remark. I told him that if he wanted to read instead of talking to me, I would be fine with it. To which he replied saying, he prefers talking to me instead of reading even though he enjoys reading before bed. This lead us to talk about things we used to do before we got into our long-distance relationship. Well, I wouldn't say it was big things but definitely some lifestyle changes to accommodate to our relationship. Read on below for things I don't do anymore ever since being in a long-distance relationship. 

My Top 7 Favourite Long Distance Relationship Videos

I am a romantic. I love a good love story. I love listening to my friends talk about their partners with so much joy and affection. Especially when you can hear the love in their voices. Haha, I guess I am friends with the right people. Everyone's love story is different. Be it close proximity relationships or long distance relationship. Out of my close girlfriends, two of us are in long distance relationships (including me). We are each other's support system, but life and work often get in the way of us to meet up for hugs and support. So I find other ways to ease this empty void of loneliness - work, playing futsal, meeting up with friends and etc. One of the things I found myself trying to 'get by' on hard days is looking for other couples to relate to. Couples who are also in long distance relationships. This was before LDRBN reached out to me. I found it on Youtube! I don't know what came across me one day to search 'long distance relationship' on Youtube. When the search turned up with SO MANY videos of couples in LDRs. I was ecstatic! A few tears were shed that night and it made me very hopeful of my relationship. 

Watching long distance relationships has definitely made me more positive of my relationship. When we first started going out, I was a little hesitant because the distance was not our only hurdle. We have so many hurdles to overcome especially when we both come different cultures. These videos (particularly interracial LDRs) gave me a lot of hopes. The couples were really positive and optimistic and truly appreciated their relationship enough to make videos of it! Some of the videos were awesomely edited! I will say this again and again, I feel really blessed that Don and I have it easy compared to other LDRs. I can't complain. 

Below are some of my favorite long distance relationship youtube videos! I hope you enjoy them.

Life Is A Beach, I'm Just Playing In The Sand

It was my first trip to Cottesloe that made me fall in love with Perth, seven years ago. I remember being so overwhelmed by its majestic view. Blue skies. Soft white sand. Clear waters. I took SO many photos at the beach, so I can document how beautiful the view and the atmosphere. I grew up in the urban jungle where we have to drive out for hours to see a decent looking beach. Seeing the horizon, how blue and sunny the beach was, it was love at first sight for me.

Visiting My Long Distance Boyfriend: Perth in 13 Photos

I just got back from my short and sweet trip from Perth! It felt SO good to see Don and be in his arms again. Gosh, I didn't know how much I miss him until I saw him. The reason why I went to Perth on such a short notice was to play wifey to Don. Don got a new job back in the city and before he moves up, I wanted to see the town he worked in for the past year and spend some time with him. While I was there, I helped him pack up his house, gave him moral support and lotsa love for his new job.

I can go without Twitter, Snapchat, Tumblr and Facebook for days, but not Instagram! Instagram is my favourite social media ever. I am always on the lookout for cool, colourful Instagram accounts to follow. I think this has to do with my love for taking photos. As usual, I took many photos of everything! I like having a platform where I can easily see photos of good memories. Creating my own hashtag to document holidays, memories and events! A few months back, I decided to post only good memories because I want my Instagram feed to be a positive one. My trip to Perth looked like we had a wonderful time together. We look like a typical couple in love. We did have a great time together! And we are a typical couple in love! Perth is such a beautiful city and so Instagram-able!! But I am not going to post photos of us quarrelling or me having an anxiety attack. My little advice is to not always believe what you read or see on the internet.

Below are some Instagram photos of my recent trip in Perth! 

LDR Featured Couple: Jade and Anna!

I have been wanting to feature other long distance relationship couples for the longest time. To share other long distance stories! Ever since I joined the LDRBN community, I am amazed to see how many different kinds of long distance relationship out there! It's very humbling to be able to connect with people who are in a similar yet different situation. My first featured couple is Anna from sunshine and snowstorms and her handsome beau, Jade, yes, his name is Jade like the stone and colour. According to Anna, it wasn't a popular name when he was born, his mom considered is as a unisex name! Definitely a quirky, cool name, but who am I to say? How many "Khairas" have you met?

Read on below to find out more about this lovely couple!

Interracial Relationships: Clash of Cultures

If you spend some time with Don and me, you can tell that we're two different people but very alike. We have the same ideas of what we want in life, our passions, what we think about aliens, personal goals and etc. The "different" thing about us is we both grew up in different cultures. As we are dating, a few clashes came up that we often talk (and laugh) about. They're no deal breakers, just things that would come up for interracial couples. Here are some clash of cultures I face with Don.

How To Deal With Long-Distance Breakups

Recently, I found out that one of my LDR buddies broke up with her boyfriend. Really sad times... We had a chat about it – she seemed okay, but I knew deep down she was a sad and disappointed about the breakup. As she was telling me what happen, I started having flashbacks about MY long-distance breakup. I was in an LDR with my previous boyfriend when I first moved to Australia. We didn’t break up because of the distance (as a couple, we had too many issues) but the distance contributed to the breakup.

No break up is easy. Especially if it’s a long-term relationship. I’ve been heart broken many times and in my experience, breaking up when you’re in a long-distance relationship is the easiest and the hardest thing to go through. Easy because… you were already leading a “single” life. Your SO was hardly around you to feel the loss. You don’t feel the physical loss. Hard because… it’s emotionally draining. What you feel the most is the emotional loss. No one to talk to at night before bed. No one “there” for you when you need someone. No one to make you laugh. No one to tell you jokes.

5 Ways To Afford Trips To See Your Long-Distance Partner

When Don and I first started our long-distance relationship, we knew that it was going to be a lot of work, time and money. We are both working our first job after graduating uni and earning entry level wage (which is not much). But you know, we are both in love, young and eager to see the world together. We had to make it work even if we have to eat cheap, cut down on things and save. I guess, we are pretty lucky in the sense that Don’s currency is WAY higher than mine. Traveling to me is SUPER cheap for him but me traveling to him is SUPER expensive for me. It would cost him two weeks salary to afford a flight ticket, accommodation + food to Malaysia while it would cost me a month salary to afford flight and money to move around. Despite all the travel costs and having to save diligently every month, every penny is worth it when I get to see my smiley, handsome man when I walk out the gate.

Here’s are some tips on how I save to afford trips to see Don in Australia.

25 Things I Hope To Do When We Close The Distance

Here’s a sappy post from a girl who misses her other half. Don has been going through a stressful time at work and I am feeling like the WORST girlfriend ever because I can’t do anything. I can’t hug him to make him feel better. Make him a nice cup of tea to de-stress him. Can’t sit next to him to watch Netflix. I feel so helpless… I can only offer him kind words of encouragement and affection. THAT’S IT! And I know, he needs more than just words. :( I tried to send him flowers, but because he is living in the freaking countryside. There was a little confusion and mix up, he didn’t get the flowers on the day it was supposed to be delivered.

5 Racist Things I Have Said To My White boyfriend

I come from Malaysia where it's a melting pot of culture, race, and traditions. A culture integrated of Malays, Chinese, and Indians. Culture clashes often happen, but rarely. When it comes to racism, it's the sort of thing where it's okay for a mother to call her kid "naughty" when they have done something mischievous but NOT okay when other mothers call her kid "naughty". Same for me, it's totally fine for my (Chinese or Indian) friends to call me a stereotype of my race BUT totally not cool if someone else does it. I often forget that Don and I are from two different cultures because we have very similar beliefs, personal goals that have nothing to do with culture. Once in a while, my Malaysian honesty comes out... in the form of foot in the mouth way. Here are five racist things I said to my Australian boyfriend.

20 Things We Did When Don Was in Malaysia

Whenever I have one of those days where I miss Don a lot more than usual, I would look through photos of us together. I have a folder on my phone of photos of us only. It's been a month++ since he was last here in KL with me. Time flies so fast when we're together but move so slow when we're apart. While going through our photos, I realised that I didn't write anything about his trip here and what we did. I was so caught up with missing him after he left that I forgot to blog about his stay here. I had planned months before to write about all the things we were going to do for document sake, but...I forgot. Don's visit to KL was planned months in advance (6 months in advance) to celebrate Hari Raya with my family and me. Hari Raya (Eid) is an annual celebration by Muslim all around the world. It was SO nice to have him here with me to celebrate this festive time and spend quality time together.

I made a detailed itinerary for his visit here, but it all went down the drain. I wanted to give Don the ultimate KL experience, but it was impossible to cover all in the few weeks he was here. It was almost like an Amazing Race itinerary. I forget that we're humans. We get tired and need rest. So, I decided to screw the itinerary and just take is easy. After all, this is not his last visit. There will many other trips to visit more places in KL. We chilled and did what other 'close proximity couples' do. Writing this post is making me miss my man. Oh well! So here's a roundup post of what we did together when Don was in KL with him! 

Long-Distance Relationship: Sending Flowers

Don has been feeling a little down and upset over a few things happening around him. Me, naturally as a girlfriend felt like I needed to do something to make him feel better. I gave him my ears. I listened to him as he vents out his frustrations and anger. Gave him my opinions and advice. It came to a point where I felt helpless. I felt soo bad that I couldn't anything else except listen.

The World’s Smallest Post Service: Leafcutter Designs Review

I am a big fan of writing love letters and mailing them the old skool way. I have written Don multiple letters. I think he enjoys receiving them. There is something intimate and personal when you send someone a snail mail. First of all, it has to be handwritten, then you have to go to the post office, then you have to buy your stamp, then you have to mail. It's pretty easy, but sending that text or email is a lot easier, but less meaningful. The kind and lovely people from Leafcutter Design send me "The World's Small Post Service Tiny Mail Kit". Yes, it's a freaking tiny mail kit!! It' mail for miniature people. I felt like a giant when I opened the kit! 

My Favourite LDRBN bloggers

As some of you might know, I am part of this amazing Long Distance Relationship community called LDRBN. A website of girls (and boys) from around the world who write about their personal experience on their long-distance relationship. I have been part of this community for a few months and I met really wonderful girls from all walks of life, each offering nothing but support for each other. If you are in a long-distance relationship and need some loving and support, check the links below! 

1. Kristine
2. Michi
3. Christie
4. Diana
5. Riry
6. Jane
7. Tammy
8. Emily
9. Anna
10. Dee
11. Lily
12. Cat
13. Brittany
14. Marissa

Another great news I want to share - I have just been made a moderator for the website! It's my first time ever moderating a website, so it's pretty exciting! Do visit the website and don't forget to check out the girls' blogs. If you want to join this community, comment below and i can help you out.