I read many long distance relationship blogs to feel part of a community. To understand how long distance relationship works. For support, also to get some comfort that, I am not the only one in this situation.
One of the few things I noticed they talked about was How To Overcome Fights In Long Distance Relationships. Curious, i clicked on them, tried to relate them to my fights with Don and realised that I couldn’t. They were really helpful tips and advice but, I didn’t get it. Why? I mean, we do fight. Do we right? Only to realise that... Don and I don't really fight. Okay, maybe not big fights where “I thnk we should hang up now” or “Leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you”
But when we do, we argue about Cats vs Dogs (Cats FTW!), our music/movie taste and when we are together - What do you want to eat? I don't know. What do you want to eat? I asked you! Other than that, not really… Is that normal for long distance relationships? Is there something missing with us? We’ve never fought about the distance or letting the frustrations from the distance get to us.
I brought this up to Don.
Baby, what do you think is our biggest fight about?
Hmm... <insert a fight Don thought was our biggest fight>
Oh really? I thought that was a normal conversation.
After much debate about what we *thought* were our fights, we both came to the conclusion that they are not fights but merely lover's quarrels. It's because we were friends before lovers. I think that plays a really big part in our relationship. We met when we were both dating other people. We both had crushes on each other, but we couldn’t act on it. Because of that a friendship developed. We went to each other whenever we were struggling with uni work, personal problems and movie suggestions.
The start of a relationship is sharing mutual interests and the phrase of getting to know each other. We put up a front before revealing our true self, like our secret shrine for Justin Bieber or our thoughts on conspiracy theories on aliens. Don and I went through that phase as friends and showed each other how we were really like, no strings attached. This is me. Take it or Leave it. Because we were friends before lovers, we didn’t have that awkward stage of “getting to know each other” He was the person I went I needed someone to talk Game of Thrones or bounce off ideas for our Uni assignments. The bond of our friendship made us closer, comfortable and honest with each other.
That’s why it was so easy and felt so natural when we started our relationship. We have a great understanding of each other needs and desire that there are no unreal expectations because I know Don really well. Mine advice for you before you start a relationship. Get to know them first as friends before getting romantically involved. At the end of the day, you want to be with your best friend.
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