Our Story: Don and Khaira

HOW WE MET

Don and I met when we were doing our Master degree in Curtin University, Perth. At the time, we got to know each other as “classmates” I was in a long-term relationship and he was pursuing another classmate of ours.

We hung out for coffee after classes, had group assignments together and kept in touch whenever I was back in KL for my winter/summer breaks. Somewhere along coffee, assignments and sending each other “Hey! How’re you? How’s your trip going?” we developed a friendship. It was only towards the end of our semester (I’m one semester ahead of him, my last semester!), in the middle of getting our papers submitted and around my birthday. He asked me if we could hang out during my birthday. He had bought me a present and he wanted to hang out. Like to hang out. Talk. Eat. Chill. 

I said okay, you can come over. Mind you, I was living with 7 other housemates, so we didn’t have much privacy. I was REALLY nervous because I knew he liked me (he confessed his affection for me MONTHS before we started dating) and I was starting to like him as well. I didn’t want to hang out in my room. We haven’t hung out outside uni, other than a few times when we went to watch another classmate eat 2 kg of chicken (wtf right? but we did, LONG STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY) So, we sat awkwardly outside my porch for a while before I gave in and told myself, this is super silly. We’re adults. Let’s go inside and hang out with my housemates.

The night went by really fast. We hung out with my housemates. He cooked for me. We watched a movie and ended the night with a kiss.  That was the start of Don and Kay.

MAKING THE MOST OF IT

As I mentioned above, we were in the midst of finishing our semester. I had my dissertation due and had to decide if I wanted to stay on in Perth or head back home. My student visa was expiring in three months. If I did decide to go back, I needed to pack up. If I chose to stay, I still had to pack up my room, find a place to stay and a job. It was a stressful time. 

Don, on the other hand, had planned out a 7-week road trip across America with his friends. The day semester ended. 4 weeks, after we had our first hang-out/date/kiss (until today, I don’t know if it was a legit date).

That was a little tricky for us because we liked each other a lot and saw potential in us. So whatever time we had, we made full use of it. Went for coffees, watched movies and Don cooked me many delicious meals. During our last few days, we decided to see where the flow takes us.

FIRST TIME AWAY

A few weeks after he left, I went back to Malaysia. The whole seven weeks he was away, we spoke every day (time difference suck) and when he went back to Perth after his trip. We talked about his trip, my transition back in KL, our future and how we were going to work on us. 

We were missing each other so much and I realised, I was falling for him. We spoke to each other like we were in a relationship and it was a little confusing. For starters, I had a lot of undecided decisions to make. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go back to Perth (even though there was a guy who was completely smitten by me there) because

1) I wanted to spend time with my family especially my niece.

2) I wanted to spend some time with my friends. Some of my friends were getting married, engaged and making babies.

3) I was getting (good) job offers

4) and never in a million years thought I would move to another country for a guy.

Simultaneously, Don was also having his reservations. He didn’t want to put a label on us because we didn’t know what we were. We were away from each other, and it didn’t seem appropriate to put a label on us. I was going back and forth about moving back. It didn’t seem right.

I started a job as a community manager at this company with an overbearing, micro-managing and controlling boss (Disclaimer: Despite all of above, she is a really nice lady outside work). To say I was struggling was an understatement, the job was fine, but the mental stress I had when my boss was around was horrible. My colleague and I felt like we were walking on eggshells around her, and couldn’t do our work in peace in fear of her. Before I joined the company, I told her clearly that I needed to go back to Perth for graduation and pack up my room.

If it was possible can I start after I come back from graduation, but they needed someone desperately and will talk about the graduation trip once I joined the company. It was the worst mistake ever! Whenever she wasn’t happy with my quality of work, she would threaten to cancel my leaves. In situations like this, I would tell myself to suck it up and work around her. I took in all her yelling, dealt with her micromanaging and waited to see what are the company’s six months plan. Once we had the company’s six months plan meeting, it wasn’t the direction I wanted to take. I knew if I stayed, I wouldn’t put 100% in my work. I decided to resign and head to Perth for 3 weeks to work on Don and me.

YOLO.

BACK TOGETHER

The wait to meet Don after months apart was crazy excruciating. I was anxious, nervous, excited, happy and so much more. Of course, I was worried. What if we didn’t like each other after all? What if we can’t stand each other? What if we fought throughout my whole stay? I was having little anxiety attacks leading up to the day I left.

I was due on that plane to Perth 4 days after I resigned.  In that four days, it was full of emotions and feelings. I took the night flight to Perth, I was SO nervous and anxious. I didn’t sleep a wink. Walking out from the immigration gate, my heart was pumping so hard, I swear I thought it was going to burst out. But the moment I saw him, all the feels I was feeling went away. He gave me the biggest, warmest hug and everything felt right. It felt so natural and right. I knew that we were done. This is it. 

I can't wait to see what the future holds for us and when we close this annoying 4177km gap between us.