Anti-love bug has bitten me many times to learn that after two weeks of dating and your boyfriend tells you, he loves you. That ain’t love. If he changes his Facebook to “in a relationship” after two week, baby girl, please don’t be fooled. Sometimes, we mistake love for lust and lust for love. Trying to find someone special is extremely exhausting and frustrating. Especially, when there are apps like Tinder, OkCupid, etc. The definition of ‘Love’ can be a little confusing.
I am a lover. I love hard. I am loyal. If you are the one, you are the only one in my eyes. I don’t just tell any Tom, Dick and Harry, I love you. I believe in ‘I love you’. I think telling another person you love them is one of the most beautiful things you can ever say to another person. And, it should be said when you mean it.
The two biggest moments in my relationship was when I realized I love my boyfriend and when I thought, “Wow, he is the one”. Many would assume that when you tell people your boyfriend is the ‘one’, you would have said those three sacred words to each other.
Not in my case.
Haha. I knew he was the one before we said I love you to each other. I think it falls down to the friendship we built before we started dating. Don and I were both seeing other people when we got to know each other. It was so obvious that Don had a little crush on me because he kept teasing the hell out of me. The kind, boys in primary school would do to the girls they liked! I didn’t mind the teasing because I was developing a crush on him. He was funny, charming and challenged me. But we didn't act on the "crush" we had on each other until we were both single.
The first "omg, I think he is one" moment was...
When we started 'dating' he was in America on a holiday and me trying to start a life in KL. I don't know how we did it, with the 12-hours difference, him traveling across America and me trying to find a job, settling in KL again. Stressful times! But, we got through it.
Throughout the time we were apart, we spoke about being ‘serious’. It wasn’t the words he was telling me, but it was the way he told me that he wanted to be serious. At no point during our discussion, he made any promises. He told me, straight point on, how is it going to be and it won’t be easy. He didn’t even try to sugarcoat anything!
"Long-distance relationship is not easy. It’s going to hurt us. It’s going to be hard work. BUT, we will get through it," said Don
Wow, I really like this dude. I really really like him.
The second time was...
Being the youngest with army parents. My parents were often busy travelling and working while my elder siblings were shipped off to boarding schools in another country. I grew up alone. I had no choice but to find ways to entertain myself. Played with barbie dolls, teddy bears, made friendship bands, collected Hot Wheels, mastered every level of SuperMario and when I got bored with Mario. It was Tetris, DonkeyKong, Zelda, Space Invaders, Sonic, etc. You name any Nintendo game back in the 90s, I played it. Basically, my parents made up whatever lost time I had with them growing up with toys. I love toys, until today.
I went out shopping with a friend one day and there was a special on Nerf guns! I can't remember how much there were, but I remember them being super cheap. 10 dollars for one? Can you imagine a 25-year-old *woman* getting excited over Nerf guns?! I got us each one with additional bullets, cause that's how I roll.
On the way home, the adult in me started to get nervous... I am probably the only girl who brought home a nerf gun to play with her bf? What if he can't take me seriously after this? Then I thought to myself, Nerf guns are the coolest things if he can't take me seriously. No worries! I'll play with it myself.
To cut the long story short, he LOVED it. We spend the next few days playing makeup Nerf guns games (which I always lost). I found someone who can tolerate my childish quirks and still love me like as a woman. Since then, we've been bringing toys into our lives.
Do I love you?
It was one day, we were in the supermarket buying food for lunch. Don went off to the Deli section to get us smoked salmon and I went off to get other things for lunch. I was picking the bread and looked up, I saw Don from far, waiting for his turn. I was thinking to myself while deciding what bread I wanted and thought, wow it's been really great these past few weeks. We get along so well. We can live together. It's been good.
It was at that moment, I realized that I love this dude.
It was at that moment, I realized that I love this dude.
And two seconds after, I had a massive anxiety attack in my head.
oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!! We have only been dating for how many months?! How can I ‘love’ him already?? Does that happen?
I don’t know why, but for a split second I considered googling if it was normal to fall in love with someone this soon. That split second, I looked down at my phone and thought, I can’t google this! I should just tell him. I am going to tell him.
When I looked up, he was gone! -_-'
Waited for the right time.
The right time didn’t come up until I had to leave for KL. I couldn’t bring it up. It didn’t help that the #MH370 #MH17 madness was happening around the time, I was due to fly back. I was really nervous about getting on the plane. I thought to myself, I should tell him I love him before I get on that plane. What if something happens? I didn’t have the chance to tell him!
I am cheeseball. I wrote him goodbye letters and signed off with ‘I love you'. I got on that plane. Knowing I told him I loved him did make my flight back to KL better. We didn't speak about the letters until a few days after. We were talking about what would be our next plan and I expressed to him that this long distance relationship was a lot harder than I thought (I was going through a post-holiday blue).
That's when he told me "We will get through this. I love you"
The butterflies in my stomach weren't just flying around, they were doing somersaults.
Inspired by this LDR Writing Prompt: Defining Moment
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