People are creatures of habit. We wake up, have breakfast, go to work, go home,
have dinner, sleep and repeat. Same like relationships – as much as we don’t
want to admit this, there is that one
relationship in our lifetime, where we stay a little too long because we are comfortable. It might be hard to
admit, but at some point of your relationship, you and your significant other have
form a habit/routine together - order the same takeout every day, watch a movie
on the same day of the every week, sex in the same position and get caught up
in the bubble that you forget that you are moving into the danger zone =
settling. Settling means no good. No good for you.
1.
Establish what you want from the beginning.
This is probably going to be a
very hard thing to do. Especially when you are up on cloud 9 in love with your
significant other. I think this is where most couple struggle doing -
establishing what they want from the relationship. It can be as simple as sex,
attention, companionship, marriage and etc. When you get down from your cloud 9
- have a conversation with your partner about your future plans, your beliefs,
your family traditions or your views on the Kardashians/Honey Boo Boo. When you
know what you want, this will set the foundation of your relationship.
2.
Don’t go with the flow.
Again, people have a habit of
going with the flow. When the flow doesn’t go where we want it to, we blame it
on #life. You set your flow. You set your own path. If you don’t like your
current path, change it. It’s fine to include your partner in it, but
don’t set your pace to his. You shouldn’t be with anyone who holds you back.
Relationships are selfish. You take what you need from your partner and vice
versa. Don’t get sucked into it. You look after your own happiness.
3.
Listen and Look.
Love is blind. Listen to the
people around you. They see it. You don't. If your family isn't keen on your
current boyfriend, there is a reason why and it's best you talk to them. Your
friends can't stand being around your S.O, something is seriously wrong. Or are
always asking you when are you dumping
this guy? Are you are still seeing
him? Don't you think you can do so
much better? Don't hate them for it. Question it! Ask why they are saying
these things. It can be a little hard to listen to love ones when they
hate on your S.O. It can come off as they are not supporting you but try to
take a step back and think about it.
Look at how he treats the women in his life. Mother. Sisters. Girlfriends. His
relationship with his the important women in his life will be the same way he
treats you. If he is screaming and talking down to his mother, say bye bye now.
4.
Don’t Wait
Your dreams/adventures/inspirations/goals are yours. Don’t sacrifice something just because your S.O isn’t happy with it or keen on doing. You want to go on that trip with your girlfriends and your S.O is giving you a hard time about it. You love watching horror films in the cinema and your S.O is not a fan of horror films. Find someone else to watch it with you or watch it yourself. There are options. Talk it out, if you guys can’t compromise something... That should be a red flag for you. Also, be more proactive with yourself! It’s totally fine to test your relationship in the early stages. Go on a holiday early in the relationship, if you guys can go through 5 days with each other 24/7 without fighting. You guys are gold.
Remember,
you only accept the love you think you deserve. If you think you deserve more
than you are currently at right now. Go get it!
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