boo hoo

I had a shit ass weekend that ended up in tears. I was working on an essay for a few days, i did a noob ass move by not saving it and of course...my word document crashed. !!@@##$%^&*^#$$ i calmed down after freaking out and cursed in every language i know. i managed recover the file and i kept saving it every 10 minutes only to discover that you cant save a recovered file because it is corrupted!!!!

I had to rewrite everything and it was shit. i smashed it as much as i could in two hours and was drained by end of the day and i still had alot to do which resulted me into tears...  SB had to calm me down and make me snap out of it. All i needed was a good shower and a clean room. My room was messy and it was one of the reasons why i was stressed. I gave my room a quick clean up and i felt instantly better.

On an unrelated note, i am on a mission to watch IMBD top 250 movies. I am going to watch Pulp Fiction before i go to bed and when i get a good day off i am going to watch Fight Club. i am so happy that i have these little rewards for myself because its going to be a few long weeks.

series of unfortunate events

There has been a series of unfortunate events going lately that is hitting too close to home for me (LIKE LITERALLY TOO CLOSE TO HOME)

First before i continue, whenever an unfortunate event/war/strike/terror attack and etc, i usually just take the back sit, watch it happen and keep my opinions to myself or...my parents or SB or my girlfriends. I dont want to sound oblivious, there are too many idiots out there saying things they think they know but really they dont know shit. It pisses me off that everytime an unfortunate event/war/strike/terror attack and etc happens, somehow....Muslims are to blame. I do read the news and keep up with things that are going around the world. 

The only time i ever spoke publically (to the internet word) about something was the Boston bombing last year. i was really upset by that because i have ran many marathons and my family are all marathon runners. It sucks to have that tiny fear when you are running to what is supposed to be a fun thing.

MH370 definitely hit me hard. When i first heard about the news (on Facebook) i was scared. I was thinking, SHIT, i am away from home...and the only way i can go back home is by plane!!! I had a moment of panic and had calm myself down. I always use Malaysia Airlines whenever i travel. My mom retired at Malaysia Airlines. she gets staff discount, so we ALWAYS and ONLY take MH because we get cheaper rates and out of loyalty. i only take Airasia when i have to pay for my own airfare, hehe.

i got my first dose of how ugly the media can be with MH370, which is really funny considering the fact that i studied Mass media and communications for 5 years! i would wake up every morning, have my breakfast while watching the news and at the same time, i would get updates from my dad telling me what Malaysian media is updating them. THEY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER. I was confused to which to believe... One morning i woke up, my housemate who was watching the news, heard me brushing my teeth, rushed to the toilet to tell me, the plane was hijacked 30 minutes after it took off!! i was in disbelief and i asked my dad, he said it was not hijacked after 30 minutes. What news back in Malaysia said was hijack is not ruled out. Tell me how to react when your Australian friends talk about the tragedy? i couldnt even defend Malaysia because i will sound stupid with my facts when the "right" facts is being aired on TV as we speak. Same when my classmates were talking about the tragedy, i pretended to drink my coffee and looked uninterested.

I felt it even more sad...when i found out one of my friends's brother (from Uitm) was on the flight and one of the crew. I cannot imagine what her family is going through right now... Usually i would not say anything if an unfortunate event happen to anyone on my newsfeed, again its not because i dont care or being oblivious, it just... i dont want to say the wrong things (as many other idiots do). But this time, i had to, i remember being fairly close to her during our time in Melaka, i had to say something, i send her a message. i didnt expect a reply, but i got one from her and i was in tears. She is so strong and accepting to what has happened.

Another sad passing is cancer fighting Ami Schaheera. I have been a silent reader of hers for years...back to the Livejournal days. i am so so so so so so sad she passed. i always thought she would be a cancer survivor, but sadly, god loves her more. She was so patient and strong about her cancer, its unbelievable. She is also one of my inspirations to start eating healthy. She wrote an entry about eating cancer free/cancer prevention food and i started being aware of these kind of foods. Really sad. Al-fatihah to her. Below is a picture of her and my sister from my sister's instagram.

Last series of unfortunate event is.... the consciously uncoupling of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. To be honest, i am surprised that they last 10 years, Gwyneth Paltrow has hinted thay were having problems in many interviews over the years. I feel so sad....because Coldplay is my favourtite band of all time and knowing they are separating makes me sad. This is me being selfish, i know this coming album is going to be good and its going to be fresh heartbreak songs. ITS GOING TO WIN AWARDS LIKE ADELE's 21 ALBUM!

I am grateful that i am still here today. I am healthy. My family is healthy. My cats are healthy. My friends are healthy. i am grateful for all of that. Syukur-alhamdullilah.

Nike Tech Pack Poncho

This week was a rather stressful and eventful for me. My supervisor basically told me in a very nice way that i should get my act together and start focusing on my thesis, as she went into details on how i should plan my day to write and i went into depression mode. I was overwhelmed as it is with the first step that after meeting my supervisor, i wanted to just go home and sleep. Is that what depress people do? sleep? But i didn't, i was a sport and went to meet up with my classmate. I felt much better that my fellow classmates were also struggling with their first step, but the feeling still lingered.

To make myself feel better, i went for a little (and expensive) retail therapy. I have been wanting to get the Nike Tech Pack sweater since it came out last year October but just held back because winter was over, KL is freaking hot and i don't need another sweater.

I wanted this beautiful cape sweater. I regret not buying it. I went into Nike in the city and voila~ the Tech Pack line had a new 2014 collection. Again, i was contemplating to get one. I love everything about the line, but it was still not practical for me to get because...i have too many jumpers, sweaters, coats and jackets for my last winter in Perth.  

As i was walking out, i noticed the sales girl was holding on to a different sweater, i asked her if i could see it, it was a poncho and it was love at first sight. ok, it was love at second sight. SB had sent me a picture of the poncho when he was in Jakarta but i brushed it off because it was too expensive and again i didn't need any more warm gears.

But seeing it in person and it touching it and being able to actually try it on. I fell in love. I wanted it and it was the last piece in my size!!!!!!!! 

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I succumbed and got it. I can't wait for the weather to cool down so i can wear it out! Sorry for the bad picture, no effort went into making the picture pretty, i was too excited and (really) guilty for spending money i don't have. i feel good and that's all that matters. 

You can never win

One of the main reasons why i stopped blogging consistently is the whole privacy issue. When i first signed up for Facebook, i was determined to upload as many photos/ablums as i could and get as many tagged photos as possible. ahh young and stupid. I was lucky nothing happened to me personally, but after witnessing stolen identity, strangers using my friend's pictures and posed as their own and things along that line. i got scared and limited my picture uploads to only 'mobile uploads' from my then-popular Blackberry (So lame).

I took my privacy to another level when i started studying Internet Communication learning more things about social media and the Internet. It got to the point where FTS i dont know how to do deal with Facebook ever-changing privacy settings that i kept my tagged photos to myself, deleted all unnecessary albums (lol, party pictures = delete, drunk pictures = delete) and my new life on Facebook started in 2013. i decided to stop sharing my life. I dont post my relationships and my family, except my niece because she is too cute. That is a struggle i am trying to overcome - stop oversharing my niece's photos for her future digital footprint, she is toooooo cute to just keep to ourselves!!!!! So now, what i share on social medias especially Facebook has a reason. When i post a picture up could because there is a particular person i want to see the picture, update friends on Facebook about my life or vain reasons; i think i look pretty (i see nothing wrong with sharing a pretty picture of me, ahahhah :P).

Why i am talking about privacy is...recently i thought of deactivating my Facebook (this has something to do with me getting 100 likes on an Instagram photo, this deserves another post). As it is, i am controlling what i share on Facebook yet still feel so exposed. I cant deactivate it because Facebook is the only platform of communication that keeps me updated with people's life at home, my futsal group, my netball group, my housing village and all things important. You can never win.

Updates on Kay's life

Super happy that i am getting some traffic to this little blog. i told myself that this year, i would blog twice a week. well, that didnt happen!

Updates on Kay's life:

#1
i started crossfit. This by far has been the most consistent fitness thing i have done in my whole life. I LOVE IT! I was one of those girls who thought weights will bulk you up and just stick to cardio to lose weight. in fact, i now want muscles. i want those sexy tricep arms. i started putting on weight on the scale but losing weight physically and it was messing with my mind. i decided to STOP weighing myself, ever. Muscles, lets build you up.

My deadlifts are 60kg (that is my body weight)
My push press/clean and jerks are 35kg

                                             This was when i graduated from beginners classes to the prime classes

I still cant do a pull up and double unders. i bought a skipping rope to practise but i keep whipping myself that i stopped altogether. it hurts! i will continue soon enough. i cant wait to go back and do crossfit again. I thought of starting crossfit here, it takes too much effort to get to the gym and its really expensive here in Perth. So the only thing i am doing right now is bringing my fitness level up. i joined the Le Mils classes at the Curtin gym (Bodypump, FTW). Once you have fitness, everything else becomes easier. 

Which brings to the second update,

#2
I started yoga. i realised i was getting stiff from crossfit and i am the least flexible person. it takes so much effort for me to touch my toes and by the time i can actually touch my toes, i am sweating buckets. i make sure i do some stretching in the morning when i wake up and do yoga twice a week.




#3
I am on my last semester of ever-studying-again (i hope). Mixed feelings like crazy, i have a love/hate relationship with Perth and the idea that i will be leaving here for good in less than 5 months scares me a little and the thought of moving back to KL and not have a reason to come back to Perth scares me more.

#4
one word: NETFLIX

I wanted to get Apple Tv and small screen to put in my room = $$$$$ but then, my Canadian housemate helped me set up netflix on my laptop for 8usd a month (Rm24). HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS UNLIMITED ACCESS TO ANY TV SERIES/MOVIES/DOCUMENTARIES. i have been watching documentaries about Titanic, Rome, Pompeii, Leonardo Da Vinci, Hitler, Sharks, Killer Whales, Ghost Adventures, Crime stories and so many more. Sit with me and ask me to tell you about Titanic, i can tell you how Titanic sank. If you ask nicely, i can help you set up Netflix on your computer :D.

That is all, until next time.