4 Ways To Maintain Your Long Distance Relationship.

How do you guys do it? - is one of the many questions I often get asked by people around me. I would reply them, “I honestly don’t know”. We are closing into 5 months being apart. 5 months too long. Along those 4-5 months of being apart, I found a few ways on how couples can maintain their long distance relationship without driving each other up the wall with insecurities, jealousy and loneliness. I’ve mentioned this almost a thousand times and I will keep mentioning it again and again. Long distance relationship is really hard. It takes a lot of willpower, perseverance and trust to make it work. Another important element to long distance relationship is strength. You need to be strong for yourself and your partner in order for your LDR to work. It takes effort and hard work for you to maintain your LDR.

Below are a few ways (or tips) on how Don and I maintain our LDR. I hope they are useful to you and your partner as they are to us!

1. Doing things together 

I don’t know if this will come as a surprise, but Don and I do many things together apart. When we are together, getting coffee is one of our favourite things to do together. It’s a thing we do. So why stop when we are not together. Don will go to his favorite coffee store and I would go to mine and we would send photos to each other. We watch (our) TV series together, so we can talk about it. As alike as we are, we both have very different taste in tv series. While I like CSI, How To Get Away With Murder, Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy…Well, basically anything with Shonda Rhimes name on it, I'm all over it. Don LOVES ladsy manly stuff like Breaking Bad, Vikings, Mad Men, Hannibal and Walking dead. The only TV series we like in common is Game of Thrones. One of the things we bonded  over when we became friends was, our love of tv series. TV series is to stay!

Another thing is..playing chess. Don is a nerd. A big nerd. He has chess nights with his housemates and has been bugging me to get on and master chess. I said that again, master chess, so he can play with me. Lets put it this way, chess + Kay is like putting a bird and a bag of salt together. I bet reading that sentence just made you, wtf? That doesn’t make sense. Exactly, chess + Kay doesn’t make sense. Because love makes you do things that don’t make sense. I let him teach me how to play chess, along with listening how smart the game is, how it is the oldest game in the world and etc. Now, I have a chess app on my phone and we constantly have a game playing.

2. Send pictures 

I like taking photos. Be it film or digital. We would send pictures to each other photos of what we are doing/eating or who we are hanging out with. It’s like checking in with each other. On busy days, we would say good morning to each other and the next time we talk would be 6-12 hours later. If we are too busy to text each other. We would send a selfie, our surroundings, etc with a short caption to say hi or update each other. All the photos Don sends to me, I keep it in a separate folder. On days when I realllllllly miss him, I can easily go to his folder and scroll through his photos.

3. Build a routine together that includes each other but also enjoy your independence

Excuse my sweaty face >.<

Don has gym and Kay has futsal nights. We also hang out with each other, through Facetime. Don will play his ps4 or watch TV and I will be on laptop researching for girly stuff or watching futsal videos. I strongly believe in having your independence in a relationship, be it LDR or close-proximity relationship (CPR). I wrote about 4 ways LDR makes you independent here. Having a routine with each other (yet apart) gives some sort of stability and commitment to each other.

 4. Understand the distance and the consequences. 

The distance will hurt you and it requires sacrifices to maintain. Don and I talk every night. Message each other throughout the days. We are pushing every limit what LDR can offer except being with each other. After a bad day at work, there is nothing more I want than be in his arms and cry my frustrations out. But with him not around, I cry even harder. It is hard and get lonely sometimes. We both know that the end of our LDR would require one of us sacrificing our home, family and friends. It’s always important to have ‘The Talk’ early on the relationship to avoid disappointment.

I hope the ways (or tips, haha!) above help you in your LDR. If you have other ways (or tips) on how to maintain your LDR, i would love to hear it!

Inspired by this LDR Writing Prompt: Distance

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